that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
