She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
