1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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