I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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