Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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