I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
