You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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