How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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