one two three fourrrrnication!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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