She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
