Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

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  (508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23
  Replies (5) Good night (2879) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.

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  (513): Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere. http://tfl.nu/ay2u
  Replies (11) Good night (5192) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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  (703): fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it. http://tfl.nu/7sbn
  Replies (11) Good night (4518) Bad night (911)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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  (412): I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed http://tfl.nu/up7a
  Replies (12) Good night (3587) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding

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  (904): we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding http://tfl.nu/10zj
  Replies (3) Good night (3257) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.

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  (613): Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B. http://tfl.nu/8gac
  Replies (22) Good night (1050) Bad night (6061)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central

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  (248): What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central http://tfl.nu/56qr
  Replies (2) Good night (1144) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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  (503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz
  Replies (7) Good night (1331) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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  (512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke
  Replies (13) Good night (567) Bad night (1837)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays

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  (307): I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays http://tfl.nu/bo0c
  Replies (5) Good night (423) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

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  (740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm
  Replies (4) Good night (1104) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.

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  (309): His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/bv47
  Replies (7) Good night (674) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.

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  (479): Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage. http://tfl.nu/89e2
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (316)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup

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  (403): i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup http://tfl.nu/p8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.

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  (828): Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now. http://tfl.nu/n9x7
  Replies (7) Good night (235) Bad night (1204)

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