Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
