Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it. http://tfl.nu/9qiv
  Replies (2) Good night (2727) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry http://tfl.nu/l5su
  Replies (40) Good night (5720) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/49zr
  Replies (20) Good night (6025) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop. http://tfl.nu/wrzz
  Replies (15) Good night (1724) Bad night (5457)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed? http://tfl.nu/umcp
  Replies (13) Good night (4044) Bad night (1437)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7810) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su
  Replies (7) Good night (2982) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate. http://tfl.nu/yurv
  Replies (9) Good night (3810) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot. http://tfl.nu/h8z2
  Replies (6) Good night (2858) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night http://tfl.nu/la5y
  Replies (6) Good night (1489) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is. http://tfl.nu/8her
  Replies (16) Good night (1509) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg
  Replies (8) Good night (822) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n
  Replies (9) Good night (1343) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth. http://tfl.nu/apt1
  Replies (5) Good night (1316) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/k0oq
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (458)

Randomize