remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.