at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked