Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...