Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.