Whod you bang
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
