Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize