why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.