You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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