I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
