dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I am naked and annoyed.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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