when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
