I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he fucked my hip out of place.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
