im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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