you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
