I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
