I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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