I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
