We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
