I'm drive I can fine osifer
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
