Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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