My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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