for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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