I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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