I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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