is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She announced her abortion via fbk
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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