random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
