It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize