We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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