Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize