I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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