he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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