Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You're like the curious george of whores
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
