I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
FUCK WHALES
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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