...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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