i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
