David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
