i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
