something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
