There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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