Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize