You just made me feel so damn special
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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