Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
