called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
