...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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