is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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