in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
