ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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