how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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