It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
