I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
