your parents love me but you hate me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
