Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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