Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
