Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
