You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
