You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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