idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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