...so i touched it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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