I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize