dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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