Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Your tits are I can't wait for

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  (647): Your tits are I can't wait for http://tfl.nu/8px6
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

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  (727): Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus http://tfl.nu/l3dr
  Replies (17) Good night (2960) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Eco-friendly.

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  (515): I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly? (1-515): Eco-friendly. http://tfl.nu/yssm
  Replies (29) Good night (2367) Bad night (4837)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace

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  (803): and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace http://tfl.nu/njta
  Replies (8) Good night (2774) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (759) Bad night (2334)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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  (919): I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/aln7
  Replies (4) Good night (1945) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.

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  (413): I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR. http://tfl.nu/5elj
  Replies (16) Good night (3003) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?

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  (805): Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later? http://tfl.nu/nvl3
  Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window

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  (309): well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window http://tfl.nu/010r
  Replies (12) Good night (544) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.

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  (330): He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life. http://tfl.nu/pmkh
  Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have poison ivy on my dick

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  WHAT

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  (870): I have poison ivy on my dick (1-870): WHAT http://tfl.nu/5c6b
  Replies (8) Good night (358) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.

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  (651): I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different. http://tfl.nu/w3bu
  Replies (4) Good night (361) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.

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  (214): White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs. http://tfl.nu/ocpx
  Replies (6) Good night (686) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits

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  (204): He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits http://tfl.nu/uf23
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.

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  (509): I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today. http://tfl.nu/71ff
  Replies (0) Good night (301) Bad night (166)

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