This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"