Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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