Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I can only date guys with blackberrys

(810): View more from Michigan

I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me

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(810): I can only date guys with blackberrys (810): I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me http://tfl.nu/t7yh

Replies (11) Good night (725) Bad night (973)
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(419): View more from Ohio

my computer doesn't work...

(619): View more from California

why?

(419): View more from Ohio

i puked on it last night

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(419): my computer doesn't work... (619): why? (419): i puked on it last night http://tfl.nu/kifb

Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (2404)
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(419): View more from Ohio

watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced

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(419): watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced http://tfl.nu/2xlb

Replies (35) Good night (808) Bad night (3159)
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(520): View more from Arizona

The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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(520): The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. http://tfl.nu/emrq

Replies (9) Good night (5224) Bad night (600)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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(780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/5eaf

Replies (33) Good night (721) Bad night (6015)
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(858): View more from California

Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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(858): Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere http://tfl.nu/0d9e

Replies (10) Good night (3806) Bad night (818)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.

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(405): you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend. http://tfl.nu/xacy

Replies (9) Good night (5602) Bad night (613)
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(818): View more from California

Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

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(818): Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical. http://tfl.nu/onyl

Replies (42) Good night (10161) Bad night (1875)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(413): then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man. http://tfl.nu/6mq0

Replies (39) Good night (1059) Bad night (11257)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm full of awesome ideas

(972): View more from Texas

Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...

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(214): I'm full of awesome ideas (972): Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs... http://tfl.nu/g4si

Replies (20) Good night (4557) Bad night (1210)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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(978): I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it. http://tfl.nu/93wr

Replies (6) Good night (2404) Bad night (934)
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(661): View more from California

Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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(661): Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode. http://tfl.nu/t52r

Replies (18) Good night (697) Bad night (1495)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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(937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev

Replies (7) Good night (2800) Bad night (734)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.

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(615): We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video. http://tfl.nu/j3gr

Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (458)
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(760): View more from California

don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.

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(760): don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next. http://tfl.nu/ewyr

Replies (22) Good night (1870) Bad night (541)

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