Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.