No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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