I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
