i barfeds in our rink
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
