And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
